My Enigmatic Life

         Right now, I'm in a spot of bother. Sunni is pinching and pulling on my ear painfully, and Akane is doing about the same, just to my elbow instead. Why am I being punished? Well, I can't bring myself to say it... I feel like such a degenarate, that's all I'll say...

"Govvy. Is what Yoko said about you getting a titwank from her last week true?"

Sunni's 'smiling' at me, but her frigid tone and holllow-eyed stare belies her lightheartedness. Akane doesn't say anything, all she does is glare at Yoko, who's sat across from us, looking to be unbothered.

"He definitely did. Aniki made quite the mess too, you know? Some of his seed got in my hair-whoops."

In midst of her not at all vivid re-telling, Akane lunges at Yoko, but I grab her by the collar and hold her back. In return, Akane begins to flail about violently in an attempt to break free. You know, I get the feeling that this has happened before. Thankfully, Akane's unarmed this time.

"I thought that I was going to be first, Govvy.", Sunni says, thankfully releasing her grip. "But I guess you changed your mind."

"You will be!", I declare, still holding Akane back. "When that time comes, you definitely will be! And Yoko's going last!"

"Eh?! Why?!", Yoko protests.

"Because I have to build up the courage to step further in dengerancy, damn it!"

"You didn't need courage last week...", Yoko huffs.

Akane stops thrashing about and points an accusatory finger at her.

"THAT BECAUSE YOU TEMPTED HIM, YOU LITTLE CU-"

"Now, now.", Sunni chastises. "A little puppy shouldn't say such a thing."

Yoko and Sunni are so helpful that she's only thrashing about with twice the ferocity of before, so that's wonderful. 

And stop growling Akane. You're actually acting like a puppy now. Wait...

"Akane! You can stay over tonight and sleep in bed along with me! It'll be just us!

Immeadiately, she stops fighting. There's no way.

"Really?! Just us?!", she asks excitedly.

"Y-yeah. Just us."

"And Yoko-chan will have to sleep outside, right?!"

"Oi, that last part is unnecessary, you know?", Yoko jokingly complains. "You can give him a paizuri without me having to be out in the rain."

I'll ignore that latter half. However, Akane slinks over to her and gets within mere millimetres of her face in response to her verbal jab.

"You're lucky that you happen to be my best friend, because if you weren't I would've suggested lynching you instead..."

Akane's dark words and even darker expression don't phase Yoko at all, who merely blinks.

"I know this is the pot calling the kettle black, but you need to relax with the yan part of being a yandere, Ms.Puppy."

Sunni, while being a bit hypocritical, is correct. Akane has to take it easy a wee bit.

"I'm not a yandere!!! And don't call me that!"

And that won't change unless she admits to being one in the first place.