Resequencing DNA

Ashleigh stood in the doorway as she watched Elijah gently place her mother down on the bed.

“Will she be okay?” whispered Ashleigh.

“She will be,” replied Elijah, his eyes filled with a deep compassion.

“It’s all my fault…I should have warned her,” said Ashleigh, her words heavy with remorse.

Elijah approached Ashleigh and stood in front of her,

“Hey…stop blaming yourself…everything will be fine…I promise, she was just overwhelmed,” he said his voice empathetic and soothing.

“I guess it’s not every day that you discover your son living life as a woman…is it,” said Ashleigh with a nervous giggle.

With delicate fingers, Elijah brushed a stray strand of hair from Ashleigh's face. Her eyes met his, seeking solace amidst the chaos of her thoughts.

“Elijah…are we okay?” Ashleigh asked softly, her voice trembling.

A gentle smile spread across Elijah's face as he looked down at her, his eyes holding a mixture of love and understanding.

“Of course we are…Ashleigh,” replied Elijah, “why wouldn’t we be?” he asked.

“I just thought…we’d argued…” Ashleigh began but Elijah soon interrupted.

“Ashleigh…we’re fine. I wouldn’t say it was an argument,” he stated, “And…we will have disagreements you know…it’s perfectly normal,” he added with a loving smile before gently kissing her.

Ashleigh smiled before she heard the voice of her mother,

“Aaron…” said Grace.

“I’ll leave you to it,” said Elijah softly, kissing his fiancée on the forehead before leaving the bedroom, closing the door gently behind him.

Ashleigh took a deep breath and approached Grace's bedside.

As Ashleigh got closer to the bed, Grace lifted her head, noticing Ashleigh’s approach.

“I honestly thought I was dreaming,” stated Grace, laying back on the bed once more. 

A silence hung in the air as Grace grappled with the weight of this revelation.

“I…I honestly don't know what to say,” she finally admitted. “I...I never imagined this.”

“Mum…I…'I'm sorry,” muttered Ashleigh, “I should have told you sooner,” she added. Her voice hinted at her concern over her mother's reaction, fearing disappointment or even anger.

Grace's demeanour, however, radiated a surprising level of acceptance. She reached out and took Ashleigh's hand,

“It's okay, honey. I'm just...I'm trying to process this,” she said softly, her eyes not shifting from Ashleigh, even for a second, “I…I do love you…regardless.”

Ashleigh's eyes welled up with tears as she gazed into her mother's. The love and acceptance in Grace's eyes were all she had ever wanted, even before all of this.

An awkward silence fell over the room once again, as both Asleigh and her mother searched for the right words to say to one another.

Grace sat up and shuffled around so she was sitting right beside Ashleigh.

“I guess…this feels a little awkward,” said Grace with a nervous laugh.

“Just a little,” replied Ashleigh, smiling anxiously.

The pair went silent once more before Grace turned and took Ashleigh by the hands,

“So…I guess I’ll start,” she said with a gentle smile. “When…when did you discover that you wanted…you know?” she proceeded to ask.

“What? Become a woman?” replied Ashleigh with a nervous laugh.

Grace nodded gently.

“Yes, my darling,” she responded, “And why didn’t you tell me?”

Ashleigh began to giggle,

“Honestly…you wouldn’t believe me,” she replied, “My story it’s…well…very… unique, shall we say. It’s more a case of when did I discover I wanted to stay this way,” she explained, looking up at the ceiling as she chuckled to herself.

“Well…I’m all ears,” said Grace, smiling lovingly.

Grace listened intently as Ashleigh shared her extraordinary journey of self-discovery. From being tricked into becoming a fully functioning, biological woman by all accounts, in order to be Wesley's date for his sister's wedding, to her dating Elijah, eventually falling in love with him, and finally admitting she was who she wanted to be.

“Wow,” exclaimed Grace, “That is…unorthodox to say the least.”

Ashleigh smiled as she fought so hard to hold back the tears,

“Yes…I told you she giggled, feeling one lone tear escape down her cheek. Hearing her own story recited in this way made Ashleigh realise just how crazy the past few months had been.

“Don’t cry dear, your mascara will run,” said Grace with a huge smile, “So, you never felt the urge to go back to being a man?” Grace asked gently.

Ashleigh paused for a moment, her mind drifting back in time.

“Initially, yes. I had actually planned on it,” she explained. “That was the case up until a few weeks ago...actually,” she added with newfound clarity. “But now, deep within my soul, I recognise that this...this is me. This is who I am, and it's where I belong,” she asserted.

Grace's gaze softened as she looked at her daughter.

“I can tell,” she said, “I can see a…a certain glint in your eye, one that tells me just how happy you are,” Grace explained.

“I am,” Ashleigh replied, her voice filled with conviction, “I truly am happy, Mum.”

Grace smiled and put her hand gently on her daughter’s cheek,

“Well…as long as you’re happy…my daughter…I’m happy,” she replied with a warm smile.

For the first time, Ashleigh heard her mother refer to her as her daughter. A wave of emotion washed over her.

“Thank you…Mum,” Ashleigh whispered, her voice trembling with gratitude.

“You know what else screams you’re happy,” said Grace.

Ashleigh smiled and looked at her mother, awaiting her answer,

“The way you and…Elijah…is it…the way the two of you look at each other,” she explained, “You look at each other as though nobody else on this planet even matters.”

“I…I love him, Mum,” whispered Ashleigh, her voice tinged with a vulnerability that only a mother could elicit.

“And he loves you,” Grace replied, “The way he looks at you proves that…besides, that huge rock on your finger kinda underlines it…don’t you think,” she added, giggling playfully.

“You noticed that huh?” Ashleigh replied.

“Miss it…honey you can see that twinkling from outer space,” Grace exclaimed with a twinkle in her own eyes. “And besides...I am your mother...I miss nothing,” she added with a mischievous grin.

Ashleigh smiled at her mother’s words.

“I know I haven’t been the best of mothers…and for that, I am truly, truly sorry,” said Grace, her voice trembling with remorse. “But…I know you…you won’t be the type of mother I have been,” she added, giving her daughter a knowing look.

Ashleigh's eyes widened in surprise.

“What?” she asked nervously.

Grace simply smiled at her daughter's reaction, her expression a blend of amusement and pride.

“Oh honey, please, I’m not stupid,” she scoffed, “If you didn’t want me to know just yet, don’t signpost it like you just have been,” she joked.

Ashleigh still looked stunned, she had realised exactly what she had been doing and quickly put her hands down on the bed beside her.

“You said the way you changed…you are exactly the same as any other woman…so you have all the right…equipment…and any mother would recognise the way you keep placing your hand on your belly every now and again,” explained Grace, “If you want it to remain a secret honey, you’d better learn to tell your hands,” she added with a chuckle.

Ashleigh's cheeks flushed.

“Does the… fiancé know?” asked Grace.

Ashleigh shook her head meekly,

“Not yet,” she whispered. “I wanted to…you know…find the right moment…maybe when I’ve figured all this out myself first.”

Grace nodded understandingly.

“Take your time, sweetheart,” she said. “I know I haven’t been in the past…but know that I'm here for you every step of the way.”

Ashleigh smiled at her mother’s words, as she got up from the bed.

“And I promise…I will not say a word,” Grace declared, a huge smile on her face as she looked upon her daughter.

Ashleigh was still shocked at how accepting and understanding her mother had been throughout all of this. First of all, to the revelation that her only son, whom she hadn’t seen for many years, was now her daughter. And on top of that, her daughter was now engaged to be married and was carrying a child. Grace's face was one of pride and love, a look that Ashleigh had never truly witnessed before. Although Ashleigh was finally feeling her mother’s love, something that made her bubble over with joy inside, she couldn’t help but feel there was more to the situation than meets the eye.

Just as Ashleigh began to ponder the depth of her mother's acceptance, a gentle tap on the door interrupted her thoughts.

“Come in,” she stated, her voice filled with anticipation.

The door opened and Mrs Henry poked her head into the room, her eyes darting back and forth between Ashleigh who was now standing and Grace who remained seated on the bed.

“Mrs Henry, I’d like you to meet my mother, Grace Pritchard,” announced Ashleigh.

Grace shook her head,

“No sweetheart, it’s Metcalfe…now…I went back to my maiden name,” clarified Grace.

“Oh…” muttered Ashleigh.

“Lovely to meet you, Miss Metcalfe,” said Mrs Henry in a respectful tone.

“And the same to you Mrs Henry,” replied Grace, “And please, call me Grace, no need for formalities,” she added with a smile.

“If you’re busy Miss Ashleigh, I shall speak with you later,” said Mrs Henry.

“No, it's perfectly fine,” Grace interjected. “I can leave the room if you need to speak privately.”

Ashleigh shook her head,

“No need for that,” declared Ashleigh, “What can I do for you, Mrs Henry?”

“It’s about that appointment…you know the one I said I would set up for you with a doctor…” explained Mrs Henry, sheepishly.

“It’s fine, Mrs Henry, my mother already knows…the secret,” said Ashleigh, her voice becoming barely a whisper as she reached the end of her sentence.

“Oh…I see,” said Mrs Henry, looking across at Grace who was now nodding her head knowingly. “Well…I know you are out for lunch this afternoon, so I have managed to get you an appointment for later this afternoon, with Dr Clara Reid, a private obstetrician.”

Ashleigh’s eyes widened in shock,

“Aww honey, you’re very first trip to a lady doctor,” joked Grace, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I bet you never thought…”

Ashleigh threw her mother a look, telling her to stop, fearing she knew what she was about to say.

“I bet you never imagined you would need one of those…so soon in life,” continued Grace, it was evident she had quickly changed what she was about to say, or at least, it was to Ashleigh.

Ashleigh glared at her mother before turning to face Mrs Henry once more, the poor woman looking somewhat confused by the exchange.

“'Thank you, Mrs. Henry,” Ashleigh said. “I really appreciate you helping me with this.”

“It's my pleasure, Miss Ashleigh,” Mrs Henry replied. “I'm just glad I could be of assistance.”

And with that being said, Mrs Henry left the room, closing the door almost silently behind her.

Silence hung in the air for a few moments before Grace broke it.

“So…Ashleigh,” she said, “That’s a very pretty name…suits you,” she added with a smile.

Ashleigh looked at her mother with a stern expression.

 

“What?” Grace asked innocently.

“You know very well what,” Ashleigh replied, her voice laced with exasperation.

Grace sighed.

“Alright, alright,”  she said. “I was just trying to lighten the mood. This isn’t just a big step for you know…it is for me too.”

Ashleigh paused for a moment, pondering her next words. In some strange way, she knew her mother was right. It was a big step for both of them in a way. After all, look at everything her mother had discovered just that very morning. And she knew that her mother’s way of coping was humour, it’s a trait she had inherited herself.

“I know,” Ashleigh admitted. “I just...I'm not sure I'm ready for this.”

“You don't have to be,” Grace assured her. “But I'm here for you every step of the way.”

Ashleigh nodded gratefully,

“Thank you, Mum,” she said, “But…you have to learn that…certain things mustn’t be said in front of everyone.

Grace sighed again,

“Oh…you mean the lady doctor thing…” she said. “I know, honey, I'm still getting used to it myself. But I'm trying.”

“There are only a handful of people who knew…what I was before,” explained Ashleigh in barely a whisper.

“Oh…you mean…” Grace began, before mouthing the words “a boy” silently. “Got it,” she continued with a smile, “from now on…you’ve always been my daughter…understood, loud and clear,” she added with a wink.

“Wow,” thought Ashleigh, “This…may be harder than I thought.”

Grace began to rummage around in her handbag,

“I need a cigarette,” she declared, pulling out a pack from her bag.

“Not in here you don’t,” she stated firmly, “Conservatory only.”

“Oh, listen to you Miss…I live in a big posh mansion,” Grace retorted playfully, “You can only smoke in the conservatory,” she continued in a mock-aristocratic voice. “Well…care to show me where that is?”

Ashleigh simply laughed, knowing that the silly voice her mother was doing was supposed to be mimicking her.

“Fine,” she said, rolling her eyes whilst reaching out her arm to link her mother’s.

Grace stood up, picked up her handbag and linked her daughter’s arm before the pair left the bedroom and made their way downstairs. They walked silently, arm-in-arm, as Grace took in the splendour of the rather large house which her daughter called home.

As they approached the conservatory,

Ashleigh noticed her mother's eyes widen. “Holy shit, Ashleigh,” Grace exclaimed. “This place is beautiful!”

“Thank you, Mum,” Ashleigh replied, a sense of pride washing over her.

As they entered the conservatory, Ashleigh switched on the heat lamps by the chairs before heading over to open the door. since moving into her new home, the conservatory had become Ashleigh’s private area, her sanctuary of sorts. The floor-to-ceiling windows offered a breathtaking view of the vast gardens and surrounding woodland, while the gentle trickling of the indoor fountain created a calming atmosphere. All of this made Ashleigh feel almost at ease, the perfect place to unwind and gather her thoughts.

“Now…I can smoke here…can’t I?” Grace asked, her voice sounding rather sarcastic.

Ashleigh nodded, a smile spreading across her face.

“Of course, Mum,” replied Ashleigh, gesturing to the ashtray that sat by the open door.

Grace lit up a cigarette and took a drag, exhaling a cloud of smoke that curled lazily towards the ceiling.

“Good...I just thought I would double-check,” she said with a satisfied smirk as she stood by the door, admiring the view.

As Ashleigh watched her mother revel in the view, the smell of tobacco filled the air, stirring a strange mix of nausea and craving within her. Despite being pregnant, the aroma of cigarettes seemed to have an irresistible allure.

Grace's gaze fell upon her daughter, her eyes widening in realisation.

“Fuck, I'm sorry,” she exclaimed, frantically waving her hand to dispel the smoke. “I should have thought better.”

“It’s fine…honestly,” replied Ashleigh, “ I haven’t managed to quit myself…just yet…I still have a pack upstairs,” she admitted, her voice trailing off, as she watched her mother's movements become frantic as if she were performing an absurd dance.

“I know just how hard it is,” said Grace, “I had to give up whilst I had you…it took me a few weeks but I got there,” she admitted, whilst looking at her daughter who was sitting watching her every movement.

“Here sweetie, take a few last puffs,” Grace said, extending the remnants of her cigarette towards Ashleigh. “It might help you with the cravings, but remind me to mention to the doctor this afternoon that you need help in stopping,” she added.

Ashleigh hesitated for a moment before accepting the cigarette. As she inhaled the smoke, she felt a momentary relief from the relentless cravings. However, the metallic, nauseating sensation returned, as well as the guilt she had witnessed earlier that day.

As she stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray, the full weight of her mother's words hit her. “Remind you to mention it to the doctor?” thought Ashleigh.

Ashleigh looked at her mother who had now settled into the seat beside her,

“What…what do you mean, You will mention it to the doctor?” she asked, noticing her mother now had a huge smile on her face.

“Well...” replied Grace, “You didn’t think I was going to allow my only daughter to attend her first pregnancy appointment alone did you…especially because your fiancé doesn’t know yet, I thought you could use someone beside you…and who better than your own mother.”

Ashleigh got up out of her seat, her eyes now wide,

“But…but I have a lunch to attend first…there really is no need,” mumbled Ashleigh as she began to pace the floor.

“Ashleigh Pritchard,” Grace exclaimed firmly, “I will not take no for an answer,” she added sternly.

Ashleigh's mind oscillated between her desire for privacy and the need to appease her mother. Finally, she sank back down beside Grace.

“Fine,” she whispered, her voice barely audible, “I guess…I guess you can come,” she added, trying her best not to sound defeated.

A wave of relief washed over Grace as she embraced her daughter,

“That's my girl,”  she whispered, her voice filled with love and reassurance. “So…where are we going for lunch…and who with?” she proceeded to ask.

“Wait…no, no, no,” Ashleigh protested, “If you insist on coming to my appointment, I’ll pick you up after my lunch. I’m meeting up with Elijah’s family,” she explained, however, it was no use.

“Oh…how exciting,” said Grace, “I’ll get to meet your new in-laws,” she added with a broad smile, “I had best go and get ready…won’t be long,” she added before swiftly exiting the conservatory, leaving Ashleigh reeling in her wake.

As Ashleigh embraced the unexpected connection with her estranged mother, a subtle undercurrent of unease began to permeate her heart. The suddenness of her mother's arrival, after years of virtual silence, evoked a whirlwind of emotions that left her grappling with a sense of bewilderment and suspicion. Over the past several years, their communication had dwindled to infrequent messages, a testament to the distance that had grown between them. Yet, out of the blue, her mother had reappeared, seemingly eager to embrace the son she had once left behind, instead, finding a daughter. She seemingly accepted Ashleigh for who she had become, expressing an unbridled enthusiasm for the prospect of becoming a grandmother. However, beneath the veneer of newfound warmth, Ashleigh sensed a discordance. Something about her mother's sudden transformation felt amiss. It was as if there were hidden motives lurking beneath the surface, like an unseen current that threatened to disrupt the fragile bond they had just begun to forge. Something Ashleigh couldn’t quite yet place her finger on.