The Gate of Shadows

Knowing time wasn’t on my side, I took a deep breath before glancing over at Melody, who happily tasted the results of her labor.

You’re blissfully unaware of everything.

"Mel, whatever you do, don’t interrupt me," I warned her, only for her to glance at me.

"Oh? What will you do?" she asked, holding a spatula full of cream.

A soft chuckle left my lips. "Something stupid," I replied.

She stood there befuddled, only to realize I was taking off one of my inhibitors.

"Oh... okay... I’ll be here if you need me. For you know…" Melody trailed off, going towards a corner of the room.

Her silly reaction caused me to cackle.

Ah… My goal will have to be achieved with only one inhibitor. I don’t trust myself fully.

Once it was off, whispers invaded my thoughts.

All those years ago, you knew the day would come when I couldn’t be contained, didn’t you, Tania? That’s why you…

Sitting, I took a deep breath before letting it go.

Take a deep breath. Yes, that's it. Now, clear your mind of any thoughts. Think back to a point in your life when you were happiest and let go of everything around you. Tania’s words replayed in my mind.

How many times did I tell you it was impossible? But now… I have more than just silly games I played as a kid. Fenris and Melody have … filled me in ways I never knew were possible.

I felt nostalgic while her voice continued to ring in my ears.

Keep trying. Keep going. The only way you fail is if you stop. You’ll get it, Lilith.

Slowly, the whispers died down when I found myself in a clear state of mind. Sadly, it was interrupted by Melody's pan falling on the floor. The loud noise was startling enough to bring back the whispers with a vengeance.

I had to clap my bracelet back on while the black wolf profusely apologized. All I did was laugh, remembering Tania scolding me for not efficiently blocking out my environment. Getting this right would take more practice, but it was enough for one day.

Closing my eyes, I threw myself back into the bed, hoping to figure all this out for the blood moon.

It’s not impossible. If my emotions can do it, so can I.

Shade was right, but it wouldn’t be easy to do it on command.

If I do it, it’ll be the first time I'll go into the soul cairn alone. My first was with Fenris. That world… is so alien compared to ours. For Melody's smile, though, anything will be worth it.

Days went by while I rehearsed everything I could. I was on one bracelet for a few hours before the whispers went out of control, which showed progress towards something. According to Shade, the soul cairn would try to appease my request if I could keep it in mind long enough to accomplish it.

However, that was the only card I left to fate. I made sure I was ready for the rest. I had all the needed materials—all but one: Fenris's blood. He had barely come around since the last time, and when he did, he would pass out right where he stood.

Melody and I had to help him onto the bed multiple times, and by the following day, he was already gone. All these turns of events left me severely neglected, even after my cycle was done. When he said after the festival, I didn’t think it would be after the damn thing.

Though I didn’t want to steal the blood from him while he slept, it seemed like I would have no choice but to do so. We were on the last day before the Festival began, making this the last time I would see him in seven days.

Well, it’ll be sooner if I can get lucky.

It motivated me to succeed, no matter how dangerous it would be for everyone. Instead of telling Melody what I was planning on doing, I lied to her about how I would collect the moon's power.

She thought I would cast a simple spell, and the moon's power would flow into the stone, but the reality wasn’t as simple as that. Witches like me had no connection to the moon, so they usually used Lycan bones on the black market for rituals.

They usually come from Celestelia, where the law rarely applies, but a bone won’t be enough for this location to break her curse. No, I need to siphon it from the red moon Lycan himself. Nothing else will work.

I would have to make love to him during the blood moon to accomplish that. Once that was done, if he didn’t rip me apart during the process, I would return to the room to break her curse.

But for all of this to come, I need your blood. How can I…

The silver wolf had promised to spend the last few hours with me, even though I had waited for him the prior night. He didn’t show up until the morning of the festival. There were many setbacks, but what bothered me the most was that we had gone no further than a kiss for almost two weeks.

When he returned in the morning, he rushed inside the bathroom to clean himself, leaving me to wait for him outside. Even though every fiber of my being wanted to go inside the shower with him, I didn’t dare go.

Time was short; if I felt his tender touch, a few minutes wouldn’t be enough to satisfy the urge within me. That was also why he didn’t dare touch me further than a kiss. The time we had left together wouldn’t be enough to satisfy each other to the extent we desired.

Or so I wish that was the case.

I had never felt this way before, though. The sexual frustration was worse than during the sleepover; it felt like it was about to suffocate me. Once he stepped out of the shower, it took everything in me not to pounce on him.

My eyes followed him no matter where he went; I honestly was addicted to him, but knowing what I knew was about to happen comforted me. After all, I would need every bit of energy to keep up with him during the red moon, or so I kept telling myself to curve the feeling of withdrawal that I was having.

Fenris, unaware of the storm within me, sat in front of me as I prepared myself to ask him for his blood. However, I was thirstier in more ways than one, almost like a starved vampire craving flesh to sink my teeth into.

The dark circles under his eyes were still prevalent, worrying me.

When was the last time you had a decent sleep?

"I’m sorry I didn’t make it last night." He apologized, leaving me feeling empty.

I didn’t want to hear that from him, but I could do nothing about it.

"It’s fine you were and are busy." I tried to hide my discontent.

However, he tugged me onto his lap from my chair instead of letting it go. Resting his head on my shoulder, a curse slipped from his lips before he brushed them against my neck.

Is my scent just as pleasing to you as yours is to me?

This wasn’t healthy for my heart, though, slamming on the gas pedal, threatening to erupt out of me.

"I want you so bad, Lily. It’s driving me crazy." Fenris purred into my ear, triggering my cheeks to turn pink.

Perhaps I wasn’t so far off before, in my thoughts. One of his hands held me tightly to him, allowing the other to travel up my thigh and into my... Before he could touch me, I grabbed onto his wandering limb, knowing that if he had done what he wanted, it would’ve left me in a mess.

No matter how much I wanted him or how badly my lady bits itched and throbbed for him, I needed to stay strong.

"You can’t. Don't you have to leave in a couple of minutes?" I tried holding back, keeping a goal in mind. 

"Yeah... Sorry." Fenris sighed, kissing me lightly on my lips.

Though he seemed slightly off, his eyes gave off a hue, much like when he lost control. His skin was also running hotter than it usually did.

Can all of this be because of the moon? You’ve never reacted like that to normal ones. Ah… Lilith concentrate!

For a moment, I tried to bring up the courage to ask him what I needed, only for him to trace his hands down my hair.

"You haven’t asked me to cut your hair in a while. Are you letting it grow?" he asked, curious about my answer.

I hadn’t thought of my hair since all this began, and for the first time, I didn’t mind it was getting longer than usual.

"Maybe..." I mumbled, triggering Fenris to smile happily.

"That’s good!" He wagged his tail so effortlessly.

Ah… Your smile is poisonous to me.

Unable to hold it any longer, I grabbed his hands before finally letting go of the dreaded question that plagued me.

"Can I have a few drops of your blood?" I suddenly asked.

Fenris's cheerful expression swiftly turned into one of bewilderment. Not that I blamed him.

"What?" He blurted out.

I closed my eyes, preparing for the fight I thought would happen.

"Please..." I begged him.

"Why and for what do you want my blood?" His eyes narrowed, tilting his head.

"I... want to make a charm to feel you’re here with me," I answered.

A lie within the truth, I’ll feel you with me, but not because of a silly charm.

I felt like I was on a sinking ship for a moment, triggering my sight to shift towards the floor. It wasn’t long before he tugged me up to gaze at him.

"Lilith..." Fenris mumbled.

No! You can’t reject it!

Grabbing him by his shirt, I pulled him into a surprise kiss, widening his eyes. It was almost as if I clung to him, but I didn’t allow him to kiss me back, tugging away as quickly as I started, glancing towards the floor.

My lie won’t last much longer.

"Please..." I begged again, closing my eyes, waiting for the rejection I thought was coming.

Instead, Fenris drew me back into a kiss, this time deepening it. His tongue entered my mouth, only tugging away to let me breathe. I struggled to find air when his eyes appeared to glow lightly again; within his iris, I could see a soft shimmer of red.

There was something off about him, but I couldn’t back down, not when everything depended on reaching him.