The Protagonist Only Thinks About Falling In Love

The canteen in the corner of the campus is very deserted at the moment. The shelves are classified with daily necessities and food, including bread, snacks and instant noodles. He Yu bought a few things and took two bottles of yogurt.

Like a little tail, Li Fengran followed behind him step by step, still in a fugue state.

He Yu glanced at him and went to check out with his things.

After a few "didi" sounds, the staff said: "A total of 38."

He Yu took out [-] from his pocket, and the other party asked for change, and helped him put everything into the bag.

There is an upward staircase outside the canteen. Due to the dim light, Li Fengran was distracted again, tripped and crashed directly into He Yu's chest. He Yu caught him, and held his hand after he stood still. Didn't let go either.

There was hot water and a table outside, where they could make noodles directly. After the two went up, He Yu let go of him, and Li Fengran's hand dropped. He lowered his head, and touched his wrist with the other hand.

He Yu soaked the noodles at the side, and added a piece of ham for him. After covering the lid, the two sat on the stool at the side, looking at each other silently.

What Li Fengran wanted to say, there were many things he wanted to say and ask, but when it reached his lips, he was swallowed again, stuck in his throat.

He Yu opened a bottle of yogurt, raised his head and took a sip, the thick yogurt left a sour and sweet smell between his lips and teeth, "After eating instant noodles, go back to the dormitory."

"En." Li Fengran lowered his head and snapped his fingers.

He Yu took out his phone and checked the time.

"It's cold, put on your clothes."

Li Fengran raised his hand again and pulled the zipper of his coat up.

"He Yu..."

He Yu turned his head and saw Li Fengran's half face drooping sideways, unable to see the expression on his face clearly.

"I'm here." He Yu responded to him.

"Did you hear everything?" Li Fengran asked softly.

He Yu didn't answer but instead asked, "Do you want me to hear that?"

How much did I hear—all of them.

Li Fengran: "What do you mean?"

"Nothing interesting." He Yu said.

After a while, He Yu asked: "Do you know how you feel? When you said that sentence."

He put his hands between his legs, and instead of looking at Li Fengran at the beginning, he stared at a point in the void in front of him, "It's pure, I don't want others to distract me, or..."

"Am I weird?" Li Fengran understood what he meant, and interrupted him with a neutral voice, "Is it weird that I look like this?"

Silence for a while.

"Do you like men?" He Yu asked him.

Li Fengran looked down at his hand: "I don't like it."

He doesn't like the smell of sweat on other people's bodies after playing, but he likes the breath of He Yu's body.

He Yu is different.

"Try it." He Yu said.

These three words hit Li Fengran lightly on the head, he was a little dazed, looked up at He Yu, He Yu let out a light breath, and the white mist dissipated in the air.

"What?" Li Fengran asked.

He Yu: "I don't like it either."

He doesn't like men, and he doesn't like women, and he can't feel the urge to fall in love with them, and he just finds it troublesome to think about them.

Not only is it boring.

He doesn't like to make trouble for himself, and the throbbing of his heart in adolescence may only be because of a momentary heartbeat.

That's probably boring stuff for adults.

But he once wanted to kiss Li Fengran because of his soft lips, but he also thought that Li Fengran was very beautiful, prettier than others.

"But try it," he said, "later."

Li Fengran turned his head to look at him, there was no moon in the sky tonight, He Yu's eyes were half downcast, as if he was thinking about something.

"Instant noodles should be edible." He Yu said.

Li Fengran suddenly came back to his senses, staring at him sideways for a long time in shock, he opened the instant noodles, and the hot air rushed to his face, the aroma of instant noodles always whets the appetite, Li Fengran stirred it with a fork twice.

"Does that mean I made a reservation?"

"What is the order?" He Yu asked.

Li Fengran: "You know."

He Yu let out a low laugh from his throat, very lightly, "You can just let it go."

"How many people...have reservations?" Li Fengran knew it well, but still had this question.

"Only this one, Mr. Li surnamed."

The little gentleman surnamed Li lowered his head, his face was flushed, he didn't know if it was from the heat of the instant noodles, or he was ashamed.

In the early morning of the next day, people in the dormitory got up one after another, went to the bathroom to wash up, a small ball of quilt was still arched on one bed, and despite the wind and rain outside, he stood still.

"Li Fengran, Li Fengran."

Li Fengran huddled up in the warm quilt, and he heard someone calling him by his ears like a dream, the voice gradually became clear and familiar, and there were some noisy and trivial voices.

"Are you still awake?"

"Let's go first." He Yu said.

"Don't be late, I guess Hades will come to patrol the class this morning..."

"Understood." He Yu dealt with his roommate who was packing up, and turned to look at Li Fengran's glowing red face under the blanket.

The blush is a bit unusual.

He reached out and touched Li Fengran's forehead, frowning slightly.

Li Fengran opened his eyes sleepily, and the breath he exhaled was a little hot.

He Yu called to stop the roommate who was about to leave, and said, "Please take a leave of absence."

"What's wrong?"

"He has a fever."

"Fever? Why did you go last night? I didn't see you later, alas, I said, there were several girls from the junior class who asked us about you two yesterday, but one or two were not here..." The roommate began The conversation started.

"If you don't leave, you will be late." He Yu reminded.

Only then did the roommate stop talking, and ran out bluffing.

In the winter morning, it is white and foggy, and the windows are covered with a layer of water mist.

As the morning self-study time approached, people passed by one after another in the corridor of the dormitory. After the outside became quiet, it had been 10 minutes.

He Yu wiped Li Fengran's face with a towel, lifted him out of the bed, and asked him to put on a coat. Li Fengran was hot all over, a little weak, and his throat was still itchy.

"Can I go?" He Yu asked.

Li Fengran coughed a few times before feeling better: "Yes."

As a result, when he got out of bed, his body was not controlled by his mind, and his legs were so weak that he fell forward. He Yu had expected it and caught him in front.

"I... slowly." Li Fengran panted while leaning against the stairs next to him.

He Yu squatted down in front of him, "Come up."

There is no difference from before, the same attitude as before, as if nothing has changed.

Li Fengran lay on his shoulder, "He Yu..."

"Ah."

"I made a reservation." He muttered to himself.

He Yu: "...Understood."

A sick person is fragile and clingy, He Yu took him to the infirmary, sat beside him and accompanied him to fetch water, the school doctor said he could go to bed and lie down, but Li Fengran didn't go either, leaning half of his body on He Yu.

This is a habit from childhood.

But it was changed for a while, and now it's back again.

When I was a child, I accidentally fell asleep leaning on his shoulder, and when I woke up, I would blush in embarrassment and say sorry, but now I still blush, and the apology is gone.

There was no one in the infirmary, only one or two students would come to prescribe medicine between classes, it was cold in winter, one might as well, there were many people who caught a cold, Li Fengran looked better after eating breakfast.

"You go back first." He said.

He Yu: "Yes."

Li Fengran: "..."

He Yu moved his hands, Li Fengran grabbed his sleeve, he said: "Let go first."

Li Fengran: "...I'm sick."

"Ok, I know."

"Need someone to take care of you."

He Yu laughed, "Who told you to run around without a coat yesterday."

That being said, He Yu didn't leave either. He let Li Fengran hold the hand warmer. After sitting for a while, Li Fengran couldn't sit still anymore. He moved his buttocks, moved around, and pressed the corners of his lips tightly.

"He Yu..."

"Ok?"

"I want to go to the toilet." Li Fengran leaned into his ear and said.

He Yu tilted his head, "Do you want it now?"

"Yeah." Li Fengran's Adam's apple rolled, and when he woke up, He Yu carried him to the infirmary. He also drank a bowl of porridge just now, so he is not feeling well right now.

If this incident had happened before yesterday, Li Fengran would not have felt such a strong sense of shame, because he knew that He Yu didn't care, since he didn't care, why should he be ashamed.

But when his thoughts have been clearly exposed, he will act as if he has other thoughts... He is extremely guilty.

The bell for class has already rang, and there is no one in the bathroom, the smooth floor tiles reflect the light and shadow, two different footsteps echo, He Yu holds the water bottle, raises it higher, walks side by side with Li Fengran, and stands still at the same place .

"Should I turn around?" He Yu asked.

"No, no need." Li Fengran reached out to unbutton the button.

Because one hand was a little stiff from the blow, he wasted a lot of effort, He Yu turned his head and didn't look at him, Li Fengran glanced at him.

"Concentrate, don't get it out." He Yu said.

Li Fengran blushed, "Oh..."

After the sound of water, Li Fengran breathed a sigh of relief. Putting on his pants was harder than taking them off, and he couldn't use his other hand, so he couldn't use it at all. As a result, the zipper got stuck in the middle and he couldn't move it. He felt hot all over his body.

He Yu: "Are you ready?"

Li Fengran: "The zipper...can't be pulled up."

"Stab"——

The sound of a metal zipper closing.

Li Fengran's thick coat was tucked in because of the hand stretched out from his waist, making his waist more and more slender. He came out in a hurry in the morning, his short black hair was messy, and a few strands of his forehead fell between his eyebrows. He lowered his eyes because of shame , but did not dare to look into He Yu's eyes.

"Okay." He Yu said, "Go and wash your hands."

"En." Li Fengran responded in a low voice.

Still not the same as before.

The mentality is different.

The heartbeat seemed to reach the throat, and then fell slowly, and the blood flowed rapidly throughout the body, which made the face hot, and the brain was difficult to think.

Tomorrow is a holiday, and today Li Fengran has been sick all day, and the homeroom teacher took care of it. He Yu sat in the back row, and from time to time he could feel Jiang Fanlu in the front row turning his head and sweeping past them. avoided.

"The weather forecast says it will snow." Li Fengran lay on the table, his nose was stuffed, and his voice was muffled, sounding like a spoiled child.

"Well, wear more." He Yu wrote the test paper.

Li Fengran rested his chin on the pile of books, and blinked. He Yu noticed that Li Fengran was looking at him all the time, and reached out to touch his forehead. The cool hand was pressed against the warm forehead, which was very comfortable.

Still have a little fever.

When He Yu was about to withdraw his hand, his palm was pressed by Li Fengran, and he said, "Calm down."

He Yu's pen twirled around his fingertips, but he didn't take his hand back.

"How is Auntie?"

"My mother? She..." Li Fengran looked at him, "What's wrong?"

"Ask casually." He Yu said.

"Same as before." Li Fengran said.

He Yu glanced at him, Li Fengran yawned, his eyes were half closed and he looked sleepy.

It was a holiday on New Year's Day, and the next day, as Li Fengran said, it snowed.

Sunday is a special day.

Today is Li Fengran's birthday, Li Fengran received birthday wishes from Liao Yuanyuan in the morning, and some from his classmates.

Around ten o'clock in the morning, there was a heavy snowfall outside, and the snowflakes were falling profusely, like a huge visual feast.

On the fifth floor of Tongzi Building, the door is closed, and the snow scene outside can be seen through the glass window.

"He Yu, do you want a Coke?" Li Fengran asked from the door.

"Water is fine." He Yu said.

"Oh." A moment later, Li Fengran entered the room with two glasses of clear water, and put a glass by He Yu's hand, "Warm."

"Yeah." He Yu took a sip, "Liao Yuanyuan said he would come over to play with us during the winter vacation."

"Well...how about we go to find him." Li Fengran said, "The last time I went there was last summer vacation."

He Yu: "Follow you."

"Then... where shall we go later?" Li Fengran asked.

He Yu came up today and asked him if he wanted to go out to play, of course Li Fengran would not refuse.

"Let's watch a movie." He Yu said, "There is a horror movie in the cinema."

"Ah..." Li Fengran hesitated.

"Try it." He Yu's voice was a little low and indifferent, "If it really doesn't work...it's your birthday today, you have the final say."

"I really want to celebrate my birthday every day." Li Fengran said with a smile.

He Yu: "It's nothing unusual to celebrate your birthday every day."

Li Fengran: "Have you prepared a gift for me?"

"Ah."

"Is it the bear?"

"You don't like it?"

"I like it." Li Fengran said, "I will keep everything you gave me."

He Yu has given him bears for several years, bear dolls, bear pendants, bear ornaments... Li Fengran's room can be seen everywhere in the shadow of the things he gave, warm and childlike.

The first little bear was actually bought for him by his mother, just to coax him not to cry, he bought it on the side of the road, and Li Feng didn’t need it later, but He Yu gave it to him every year, so he always liked it .

The movie was at two o'clock in the afternoon, and He Yu booked the tickets, and the two of them set off after having dinner at home at noon.

For Li Fengran, horror movies are ones that he is afraid to watch, but he can't help but watch them.

The movie theater was dimly lit, and the two sat in the back row. There were not many people in the whole venue. Li Fengran was holding popcorn in his hands, and the movie hadn't even started yet.

"Did you know that if you ask your ambiguous partner out to watch a horror movie, you are actually flirting."

"You know a lot." He Yu glanced at him.

In the darkness, Li Fengran's eyes were bright, and he muttered: "I've never eaten pork, but I've seen pigs running."

He Yu hissed, "Isn't the metaphor you used inappropriate?"

"Really?" Li Fengran didn't realize it, he put popcorn in his mouth, he seemed to think that it's not good to eat alone, he took out popcorn and handed it to He Yu's lips, "Do you want to eat?"

He Yu lowered his eyes, and suddenly remembered the unscrupulous provocations and temptations of this person. After everything was clear, there were traces of his past actions. He had a rare bad idea, wanting to see him at a loss and blushing.

And that's often easy these days.

He Yu opened his lips lightly, stuck out the tip of his tongue, and swept away the popcorn in his fingers. The tip of his tongue swept across his fingertips. Li Fengran delivered the popcorn a little fast, half of his index finger was stuck in. He Yu licked it as if he didn't care Yes, took a bite.

Li Fengran: "..."

He didn't know whether He Yu did it on purpose or not, but his fingertips seemed to be scalded.

"Sorry." He heard He Yu's cold voice say.

"It's okay." Li Fengran said.

not on purpose.

Li Fengran rubbed his fingertips, picked up another popcorn, and brought it to He Yu's mouth, "Do you want more?"

He Yu opened his lips, and his fingertips came in again.

He Yu raised his eyebrows, "Is this a bonus?"

Li Fengran: "..."

Two minutes before the opening of the movie, two people sat behind them on the right side - a couple.

They didn't pay attention at first, but after the movie started, Li Fengran heard some strange voices, turned his head to look back, but was blocked by a hand.

He Yu put his hands on his shoulders, covering his face with his palms, "Don't look around, watch a movie."

"Oh." Li Fengran reacted, his eyelashes swept He Yu's palm, blinked a few times quickly, his eyes watched the movie obediently, but his ears moved back involuntarily.

They should be kissing.

This is not the first time Li Fengran has encountered this "live broadcast".

He Yu's arm on the shoulder was not removed, it was still hanging on it, he didn't know if he forgot to remove it, or...

The movie was playing, surrounded by 3D horror sound effects, and it was deafening from time to time. The horror effect was in place, but Li Fengran's attention was distracted.

The couple at the back started to become too much, their voices were undisguised, they were laughing and chatting in low voices, and the content of the chat was really inappropriate for children.

Ahh...so bad.

Li Fengran was a little absent-minded.

"Let's change positions." He Yu pulled him up, not interested in watching the live broadcast.

When walking to the side, Li Fengran turned his head to look at the couple kissing passionately behind him, maybe they were in the period of passionate love, under the flickering light of the movie, Li Fengran saw the man's hand in the place where it shouldn't be, he was busy He lowered his eyes.

Thoughts drifted back to a time long ago——

That was the first time he went to a movie theater alone. On the National Day of the first year of junior high school, Li Fengran was upset at that time, and he went to see a literary and artistic youth romance movie. There was such a similar couple sitting in the back seat of the movie theater. .

They kissed and hugged, and even went too far, Li Fengran was a little annoyed by the noise, or maybe it was for some other reason, he turned his head and stared at those two people for a long time before they realized his existence.

The woman let out a low exclamation, and the man cursed and said "I'm sick".

ill.

He is sick.

"It's disgusting," he murmured.

The two heard that the man was about to get up and beat him up, but the woman stopped the man and scolded him a few times as a "little pervert" because she didn't want to cause trouble.

The word "pervert" was enough to stimulate his nerves.

Before finishing the movie, Li Fengran left the scene.

"Uncomfortable?" He Yu's voice in his ear replaced the "little pervert".

Li Fengran lowered his head, looked at the hand held by He Yu, his fingertips were cold and numb, he shook it, "No."

There were a lot of empty seats in the movie theater, so they re-selected two seats to sit down, this time far away from the couple in the back, and another person sat next to him.

"He Yu..."

"Ah."

"Thank you." Li Fengran said with a smile, "Please let me watch a movie."

"It's just a movie." He Yu said, "If you want to watch it, we'll come back next time."

Li Fengran smiled and said nothing.

It's not just about watching a movie.

The air conditioner was turned on in the movie theater, and the two of them were so warm inside that they could take off their coats. On the contrary, when they got out of the movie theater, the cold air hit outside, and the frozen people shivered.

When the two went to the bathroom, He Yu came out first. After drying his hands, he waited for Li Fengran in front of the bathroom door. While waiting, he met a couple. He recognized the other party as the two in the movie theater. They were in love Intentionally stick together and hold hands.

Falling in love...is it all this sticky?

"He Yu." Li Fengran came out of the bathroom.

"Well, let's go." He Yu said, "What do you want to eat tonight? Eat outside."

Li Fengran: "Are you rich?"

"Yes, I made some private money with my pocket money." He Yu said.

Li Fengran: "...how did you make money?"

"Do you want to do it?"

"think."

"Sell yourself." He Yu said.

Li Fengran: "...?"

Seeing Li Fengran's eyes widen in shock, He Yu smiled, Li Fengran also realized that He Yu was joking.

He Yu asked him: "Do you want to do it?"

"I... I'm still underage..." Li Fengran hesitated.

He Yu raised his hand and flicked his forehead, and the lips were evened out, "You can't do it even when you're an adult."

"Why can you do what I can't?"

"Because I'm in charge of you." He Yu brought the topic back, "What do you eat?"

Li Fengran: "Barbecue!"

It had snowed outside, the ground was covered with a thin layer of silver-white snow, and the unfinished green leaves on the branches were also covered by snow. The two of them had dinner, wandered outside for a while, and the cold wind blew.

Li Fengran started playing outside, lost his excitement, and ran around holding He Yu's hand. When they returned home, both of them were completely cold.

He Yu went to his house and took out the cake from the refrigerator, which he asked He Mu to make.

Mother He heard the movement outside, walked out of the bedroom, and saw He Yu at the door ready to go out again, "Do you still want to go up?"

"Well, I haven't celebrated his birthday yet." He Yu said, "Let's go first."

The door slammed shut, and Mother He felt a little helpless. The older the son grew, the colder his temper became.

There is no one in Li Fengran's house.

He took a shower, covered his head with a towel, and sat on the sofa. There was a small cake on the coffee table with seventeen candles stuck in it. The lights in the room were turned off, and the faint light of the candles shone on his face. .

"Make a wish." He Yu automatically skipped the step of singing the birthday song.

Li Fengran looked up at him, his face under the candle was softer than usual, his eyes seemed to be wrapped in tenderness, he was accustomed to He Yu's perfunctory attitude of urging him to make a wish, he closed his eyes and clasped his hands together, ten seconds later , opened his eyes, and blew out the candle.

"click".

He Yu turned on the light in the living room, went to get the plate, asked Li Fengran to cut the cake, and gave him the best and most beautiful piece.

There is a bear sign on the cake.

This was made by He Yu before.

"It's too sweet." Li Fengran said.

He Yu: "Is there?"

"Let me cut some fruit."

"It's too late, don't do it."

"I have this sweet taste in my mouth." Li Fengran said.

He Yu took the fruit knife and peeled the apples for him. Li Fengran didn't like to eat apple peels, so He Yu practiced a good knife skill, but after a while, he peeled the apples and handed them to Li Fengran. After taking a bite, his cheeks twitched.

"Will you...will you go back later?" He asked softly.

"Back." He Yu said, "What's wrong?"

"I'm afraid..." Li Fengran whispered.

As for what to be afraid of, it is naturally a sequelae of horror movies.

His eyes were clear, and he looked at He Yu without a trace of distracting thoughts. There was a faint expectation in his heart, and his beautiful face carried a fragile and fragile beauty in the night.

"I'm here." He Yu said.

Only then did Li Fengran purse his lips and show a smile. He went to get some drinks and poured them into a cup. After He Yu took a couple of sips, something was wrong. He took the drink bottle to have a look—fruit wine.

"Wine?" Li Fengran glanced at it, "My mother kept it at home and never drank it, so I didn't look carefully."

He stuck out his tongue, "No wonder the taste is so strange."

"Stop drinking." He Yu said.

"He Yu." Li Fengran called out in a friendly tone.

"Ok?"

Li Fengran's words turned on the tip of his tongue, and he swallowed them all, "...you are so pretty."

He Yu: "..."

Li Fengran pushed his hands forward, tilted the glass in his hand, and instantly poured the wine all over him, the rose red color stood out on the white T-shirt, Li Fengran panicked for a few seconds, "Ah..."

"Go and wash." He Yu said.

Li Fengran got up, walked unsteadily into the room, went to get the clothes for a long time, when He Yu went to look at the door, Li Fengran came out.

He Yu entered his room, glanced at the bookshelf, wanted to take out a book to read casually, ran his fingertips across the book, and saw that Li Fengran's drawer was opened, and there was a book with a brown cover inside.

A few minutes later, Li Fengran came back, his face was reddened by the heat, and he looked delicious.

"What's this?" He Yu held a book with an old brown cover in his hand. Although it was old, it was well preserved. Except for some bumps and folded corners, it was still very new.

"Have you read it?" Li Fengran asked.

He Yu: "No—is it a diary?"

He Yu is rarely interested in one thing.

"Yes." Li Fengran sat on the stool by the table, hugged one leg, rested his chin on the back of his hand, and turned his head to look at He Yu, "Do you want to see it?"

"Can you watch?" He Yu asked.

Li Fengran shook his head.

He Yu: "What did you write?"

"My sexual fantasies, don't you have one?"

He Yu squinted his eyes, only drank a little, and then...he got on top?

He Yu: "Who?"

"You'll know it when you look at it." Li Fengran said.

"Can you watch it?" He Yu asked again,

Li Fengran shook his head again.

He Yu: "..."

He said that he would know after looking at it, but he didn't show it to him.

"Li Fengran."

"what happened?"

"You have a secret from me."

"Didn't you already know?" Li Fengran said.

He Yu said to Li Fengran - "Don't you also have a secret from me?" Li Fengran remembered it for a long time.

"Secrets are things that cannot be told to others." Li Fengran said.

From that day long ago, he has had a secret that cannot be told to others.

This secret is He Yu.

He Yu tilted his head and smiled lowly, pressing the notebook on the table, covering the top with his palms, his long and narrow eyes revealed a bit of aggression, "I will read it sooner or later..."

"—your secret."