Well at Least I’m a Magic Pirate Now

Erastil 4: Dusk

I’d like to say that I was not scared, only sad that things had escalated to the point where violence was the only option. I’d like to say that, but I was both scared shitless and eager to wipe the floor with this asshole. I’d been waiting for this moment for weeks, and planning it for days.

Plugg and I squared off from opposite corners of the poop deck, surrounded by exhausted men and corpses. We eyed each other carefully, waiting for Sosima to finish establishing the ground rules.

“This duel is sanctioned by the Besmaran faith and will follow the tenets of the Pirate Code, per mutual agreement.” She announced to the huddled mass of survivors, “As both men are spellcasters in general and summoners in specific, I declare that magic, summons, and physical combat are all valid tools. No holds barred; are there any objections?”

“Summons become valid after the duel begins.” Plugg said with a sneer. “I don’t want Mr. M’Dair involving those two in our duel.”

He gestured dismissively at Yael and Litorias. Litorias was curled up on the whale skull; the little dragon had promptly fallen asleep the moment things seemed safe. Yael leaned forward, her mask shifting back and forth as we spoke. She seemed largely oblivious to the fact that her new dress was shredded by ghoul claws, leaking smoke into the air around her.

“Very well, since it apparently needs to be said, the bound outsiders shall not be considered summoned creatures. No outside creature may attack or use a magical effect upon a combatant, nor may they in turn be stuck or ensorceled by a combatant.” Sosima agreed, “For each infraction by Mr. M’Dair, should I see any, you will be allowed to call upon an ally to even the playing field per section four of the Pirate Code’s guide to dueling. Mister Scourge and Miss Tarroon are your first two standbys, I assume?”

“Aye.” Scourge called. “We’ll be ready if ye need us.”

Caulky nodded jerkily, but didn’t look up. She leaned against the railing of the ship, meticulously examining her boots.

“Moving on then. Mr. M’Dair, your standbys?” Sosima turned to me, hardening her eyes, “I do hope you picked a few, since you are the challenger?” (Bluff 19+10=29 Vs sense motive. Success. The crew believes Sosima to be slightly siding with Sebastien Plugg)

“Cog and Yael.” I answered.

Given my allies on deck, Cog was the one who would be most capable of covering my weaknesses. Specifically, he could almost completely negate my weakness to being punched in the face by standing in between me and my opponent. Yael was my only other choice, really, unless I wanted to wake up an enraged scaly child from its nap. Sandara was mostly out of magic, and Rowe was almost as squishy as me.

“Understood.” Sosima said. “If a combatant voluntarily leaves the deck of the ship they will be considered disqualified. Voluntarily is the operative word; being forced off the deck will not impact the combatant’s standing.”

“Agreed,” I said, echoed by Plugg.

“Finally, we are still in enemy territory.” Sosima said, pointing at Jaundiced Jape. “You, orc. Stand vigil at the bow and ensure that we are not caught unawares by another group of ghouls. It seems unlikely, but I will hold you personally accountable if we are attacked without warning.”

“There’s a great bloody skull headed beast on the beach!” Jape moaned. “We’ll hear that thing tearing ghouls ta shreds long before any of em get to the ship.”

“Then your job will be easy,” Sandara said breezily. “Tell you what, I’ll buy you a pint when we get back to port.”

The grumbling half orc assented, taking up his position on the bow.

“Now then.” Sosima said. “At the count of ten, you may begin.”

••••••••••

Erastus 2, two days ago

“Alright. So, that’s that.” I said, drawing a vertical slash on the wall of the cave next to the plan. “We send Sosima first via air elemental, then Sandara, Rowe, me, and Cog in that order. Any questions?”

“Yeah,” Syl asked, “what then?”

“Huh?” I asked. “We fight off the ghouls until the ship can get repaired, at least enough to get off this god forsaken island.”

“Ah. Nice and detailed, I see.” Cog said with a roll of the eyes. “Be more specific, Syl, you obviously skipped a few steps in your head.”

“What do we do after the ghouls are dead?” Syl asked. “In case you guys forgot, half of us are slaves and our current captain is willing to kill over matters of ego.”

“I might be able to pacify him, if you’d like.” Sosima offered. “Do you know what kind of lady he prefers? It won’t be too hard to lead him on for a bit.”

“Sex him up, you mean?” Sandara sniggered. “I don’t think that’ll work for long unless you are really damn good in the sack.”

“Of course not.” Sosima said with a roll of the eyes, “A proper lady deals in promises, not favors. At least with a man she intends to use. I’ve seen promises keep a man leashed for years.”

“Maybe in Cheliax, but men in the Shackles won’t wait forever.” Cog warned. “The good ones lose interest. The bad ones… well, let’s just say I think it’s a safe bet Plugg isn’t one of the good ones.”

••••••••••

“Eight, nine, ten, begin!”

The moment that Sosima finished counting, I threw myself to the side. Plugg had opened exactly as I expected, by summoning a fiendish animal with a point of his sword. The giant crab’s pincers snipped at the air where I had been only moments before, but I was already out of its reach before it had fully formed.

My shadow stretched out before me in defiance of of the prevailing light. The patch of unnatural shade condensed and rose from the ground, taking on a silhouette nearly identical to my own. It’s flesh was a dark gray that drank in the light, not unlike that of Yael. My shadow stepped forward, fists raised, to threaten Plugg. 

This feat of magic was purely mental, leaving my body entirely under my own control. I reached down and pulled a revolver from the holster in my regulation chelish officer’s coat. I winced as I pulled the trigger, but managed to graze his thigh.

You have shot Sebastien Plugg for 5 damage. 

He grunted, then with a flick of his wrist Plugg produced a handful of white hot flames in his off hand.

••••••••••

Erastus 2, two days ago

“You suck.” Rowe said. “Wasting bullets.”

“You can make fifty cartridges with half an hour of work!” I replied. “I need practice if I’m going to get any better.”

“Wasted half hour.” Rowe groaned, “Do magic. Good at that. Everyone sees. Shit at gun. Everyone sees that too. Not even hitting easy target.”

“Trust me.” I assured her, “If I can get this down, I’ll be able to shoot and cast at the same time.”

I wasn’t sure if it would make a difference, but Rowe could make a Goblintech pistol and all the ammo I could possibly need with about an hour of effort. It was practically free, unless you counted the people making fun of me. I didn’t mind a bit of ribbing

I only had about three hours to practice with the targets Aaron lent me. I was still a pretty terrible shot by the time I left for the Man’s Promise, but I had one advantage over most people trying to shoot in combat. Time stopped for me every six seconds. I had all the time in the world to plan my shots.

••••••••••

After a quick side step, Plugg hurled a ball of fire at me. I was still teetering from my initial dodge, and the blast struck me directly. Only an inch away from my chest, the white hot flames were snuffed out. A wave of scorching hot air washed over me, but I was saved from the brunt of his attack.

(Spell resistance pierced)

(You have been struck for 12 fire damage)

(Fire resistance applied, -10 fire damage, 2 damage taken) 

The crab lunged for me, but the blow never came. I flinched, but its claw stopped short a few inches from my arm.

(Protection From Evil has prevented an evil summoned creature from making contact with you)

Plugg’s eyes narrowed as he saw me no-sell his two primary magical weapons. I winked, and fired off a fully charged blast of frost. He turned to present a narrow profile and swayed to the left, and the railing behind him cracked as it was flash frozen, (empowered frost blast 7+5=12. Miss)

Damn it. Wasted a spell slot. I’ve only got two of those left. I’ve got to make them count. 

My shadow stepped forward and swept Plugg’s legs out from under him with a low kick. Unfortunately, it did so right as I fired. I have no idea if I’d have hit him, but I’d like to think I would have.

••••••••••

Erastus 3, Dawn

“Come on, Protection from Evil?” Sandara grumbled in the hallway outside the infirmary. “Can’t it be Protection from Law? That one’s a lot easier to cast.”

“It’s not about what’s easy, it’s about what will work.” I asserted. “Law would give me an edge over Plugg, yeah, but it wouldn’t stop his summons.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she agreed. “I can prepare the spell. Anything else, oh captain?”

“Fire Resistance.” I said, “I want to see his face when his favorite toy doesn’t work.”

“Ooh.” Sandara said with a grin, “yes sir.”

“Good girl,” I said with a smirk. “Unfortunately, we really do need some shut eye so we only really have time for this.”

I pushed her against the wall with my full body weight and kissed her hard on the mouth. She bit my lip when I started to pull away, just shy of drawing blood, and looked at me with a wicked grin.

“Tell you what,” I said, “when all this is over we can celebrate in the captain’s cabin. You’ll pay for that.”

••••••••••

“Outside interference!” Plugg sputtered.

As he did, he beckoned the crab to return. It stopped ineffectually flailing at me and charged my shadow. The crab clamped down on its arms, giving Plugg the chance to scramble to his feet safely.

“He has a preexisting magical effect active.” Plugg explained, glancing at Sosima.

“There is technically no rule prohibiting that.” Sosima informed him, “under the Besmaran code, it is your responsibility to inspect your opponent for any blessings or enchantments that could tilt the results.”

Sosima’s explanation continued, but I didn’t hear it. Plugg turned away from her in disgust and took a step towards me with a shout. His cry reverberated and layered over itself, growing louder with every repetition like feedback from a hot microphone. The deck around my feet cracked and splintered. It only lasted a few seconds, but the vibrations rattled my bones and left my ears ringing.

(Fortitude Save 11+1=12 Failed!)

(You have taken 5 sonic damage and are deafened for one round)

(Deafened: you can not hear and take a 20% spell failure chance for all arcane spells)

Looks like I’m not the only one who had a few tricks hidden away. Two more of those will knock me out, and I don’t know how much hp he has. Time for plan B. 

I straightened my back and looked Plugg in the eye. I gave him a salute in honor of his successful strike, and plunged the deck into darkness. It was an innate spell-like ability, not a true spell, and was thus unimpeded by my ringing ears.

••••••••••

“Truly?” Sosima asked, shocked, “How can an official dueling code be so exploitable?”

“It’s meant to be exploitable, ghoul girl.” Sandara answered with a laugh. “Anyone who ever told you Besmara cared a jot about honor was trying to sell you something. Only idiots fight fair, so it’s only right that the person who can set things up properly should have an advantage. If your opponent or an observer can prove you did it, then it’s cheating. Otherwise it’s fair game.”

“Interesting,” I said, “wait a second. How many people on the crew have darkvision?”

“Me, you, Narwhal, and half orc. Jape?” Rowe answered. “Some see by moonlight. Most darkblind.”

“I see where you’re going,” Sosima said, “but I may need to put a stop to it. I can see in the darkness quite well in my natural state.”

“As a tiefling you could, and as a ghoul you could.” I agreed. “But you’re going to be a Gillman by the time it’s relevant. So, how do we get rid of Jape?”

“Prioritize evacuating him if he gets bitten.” Syl suggested. “If that doesn’t work, just figure something out. He doesn’t seem like a very ambitious guy; it should be easy to push him around. That, or you hand him one of those bars of grindylow silver. That’ll shut most people up.”

••••••••••

Plugg, to his credit, didn’t panic. By memory, he climbed off the poop deck, making a mad dash to the bow of the ship. He knew from observation that I could only cast once per day, and the approximate range of my frost blast. It was a good tactical move; if I was playing fair, he’d have neutralized my advantage completely.

I stepped loudly and deliberately to the railing, where we’d made our stand against the ghouls. I made as much sound as I could manage, making it easy for any observer to loosely track my movement. (Bluff to create a distraction 17+11=28)

Rowe scurried up next to me, snatching the revolver from my hand with a manic gleam in her eyes. She lined up a shot and hit Plugg in the lower back as he ran. His magic coat stopped the bullet, but the force of the shot made him stumble.

Rowe has shot Plugg for 6 Bludgeoning and Piercing damage.

As Rowe fired to my right, I beckoned Yael to join me on my left. My deafness faded the moment my turn ended, but her light footsteps were silent against the hard wood of the deck.

“Cheating in a divinely sanctioned duel?” She whispered, her giddy voice restrained to only my ears, “how scandalous. The girls will never believe this when I get home.”

“Yep.” I answered directly into her smoky ear, my voice just as low. “Care to take part? Stick to ice if you can. I want it to look like it could have been me.”

She nodded vigorously, and with a sweeping gesture she froze the port stairs solid. A thick patch of ice formed, turning one of the narrow paths up to the poop deck treacherous. Even better, it was fully within my darkness.

By all means, stay on the bow. You can’t touch me any more than I can touch you.

He took cover, and the two of us were caught in a stalemate. Rowe couldn’t get a good shot, only managing to do one damage over the next 5 rounds. The crabs he sent to kill me died to my frost blasts as they struggled past the icy field Yael had conjured. I wasn’t entirely sure why he bothered; they couldn’t hurt me even if they reached me. I took one of my free turns to ask Autopilot for a guess.

He doesn’t know how long long that will last. It’s been three minutes since Sandara cast the spell, after all. We’ve only got one minute left. (Spellcraft 3+9=12)

Fuck.

I took much longer for my next round. I seriously considered having Yael switch to something more aggressive, but she’d already used most of her long range spells. Magical storm clouds would shred my plausible deniability; it didn’t matter if everyone knew I was playing dirty as long as Plugg couldn’t prove anything. I didn’t want Scourge or Caulky added into the mix.

What do I have left in the tank? A couple full-power frost blasts might take him down, but they’d need to be direct hits and I need to get in closer. It’d eat up my last spell slots for the day. I’ve got 2 spells, Faerie Fire, Dancing Lights, Charm Person, Read Minds, Feather Fall, and Levitate. Oh yeah, I’ve also got my curse and a nearly dead shadow puppet.

I looked around the poop deck, and my eyes landed upon the Skull. I’d already used most of the long range combat spells embedded in the carvings; black tentacles had been especially useful. The only spells left were Color Spray, two touch range attack spells, a spell that lets you transform into a different humanoid creature, a spell that lets you double in size, and Hypnotism.

Wait.

“Yael, do you know how to use scrolls?” I asked.

••••••••••

Sebastien was playing the long game. Binding had two substantial advantages over traditional Thassilonian magic. First was its general ease of use; improper technique could backfire, but accessing the magic itself was comparatively easy if you had the proper knowledge. Second was its stamina. While Sebastien would empty his reservoir of power any time he summoned a beast, Forash would replace the energy within the minute. Traditionally this took about thirty seconds, though Sebastien knew some managed to get it down to 24.

Even a mighty archmage could cast only a hundred spells in a day, which was why the clever ones always had a backup plan. Peppery kept a selection of wands ready, and M’Dair had clearly learned that Magaambyan style frost blast to compensate for his lack of staying power. M’Dair had many tricks, but very few combat spells lasted for more than a few minutes. All Sebastien had to do was avoid being shot, and the elf boy’s defenses would melt away like ice in the sun. He’d be left with nothing, save an empty firearm and a jumped up cantrip. Perfectly vulnerable to having a sword lodged in his gut.

More than anything, the summons gave Plugg an opportunity to assess the situation. When finally he turned and saw that M’Dair’s darkness had faded, he wasted no time. He roared with the strength of Forash at the drow leaning over the railing. He had a manic grin on his face, which greatly clashed with his dignified officer's coat worn over… a dress?

“Penalty! Attack against Emrys’s standby.” Lady Aulamaxa called. “Miss Yael, shall you join the fight or will Mr. Cogward do so?”

Before his eyes, the unmistakably feminine drow’s hair exploded into an ash gray mane of smoke, and she placed a white mask upon her face.

“I’ve had enough fun.” She said in a strained voice, nursing the burn. “Cogward, by all means. May I ask Sandara for medical attention?”

••••••••••

Climbing the rigging was simple with levitate. My body was almost completely weightless, so I could swing and leap with hardly any effort. After I set my trap with Lady Yael, having her cast Alter Self to turn into a drow, I moved into position. I’d quietly launched myself into the air, trailing mirror images like a flock of crows. There, I’d waited alongside poor, short sighted Captain Plugg for my darkness to evaporate. There was no hiding all of us; if Plugg had thought to look up, he’d have seen us instantly in the fading light of dusk. (Stealth 3+10=13)

I savored his look of shock only long enough to aim and fire a blast of frost, fully charged with the energy of a second circle spell. (10+4=14 vs flat footed touch AC. Hit!) The trail of flash frozen vapor streamed down to the cowering male, encasing the left half of his body in ice. He screamed; it was like music to my ears.

You have struck Sebastien Plugg for 4+5+6+4=19 cold damage

Sebastien Plugg has failed his saving throw, and is staggered for one round

I’d been planning on adding an octopus or two to the mix, but Autopilot ended up as the star of the show here. I’d practiced with the mirror image wand, but I just couldn’t get the summoning wand to fire off properly. It didn’t seem to matter; Plugg had a mountain of hit points, but that last frost blast had really taken a chunk out of him. Cog was carefully making his way down the stairs with his dagger still sheathed, and Plugg probably didn’t know exactly how many bullets I had left in the chamber.

“Just give up, man.” I said, and a chorus of 4 mirror images joined me. “You’ve been outplayed. You’ll just look stupid if you choose to die now.”

Plugg looked up at five drow grinning down at him from the rigging. He had a one in five chance to hit me, and his strongest offensive spell could only hurt me if he got lucky. He glanced at Cog, measuring his progress across the deck. He did the math. He couldn’t beat me, at least not right now. He dropped his sword to his feet.

“Very well.” He said. “I surrender.”